This is not a guide to “perfect” Elimination Communication. It is simply our family’s experience using EC with our third son, from the newborn stage through toddlerhood.
Why We Decided to Try Elimination Communication
When I was expecting my third baby, I came across Go Diaper Free. Listening to Andrea explain Elimination Communication (EC) immediately resonated with me. Her respectful approach to babies and their natural hygiene needs made so much sense that I knew I wanted to give it a try.
I had already introduced the potty with my older two children at what was considered an early age back then — before they turned one — but EC felt different. It was less about potty training and more about learning to notice and respond to my baby’s cues from the very beginning.
In simple terms, Elimination Communication is about learning to recognize your baby’s natural cues and offering opportunities to use the potty or toilet. There is no single “right” way to do EC—you simply start where you are, follow your baby’s lead, and adapt it to your own family’s rhythm.
If EC doesn’t feel like the right fit for your family but you’re curious about our more traditional potty training experiences, you might enjoy reading my article Gentle Potty Training Tips: Lessons I Learned with My Three Kids.
Our Approach
Our goal was never to be diaper-free from birth or to catch every pee and poo. We wanted EC to feel gentle and enjoyable rather than stressful.
This was my third baby, and I was a stay-at-home mum caring for three young children in a foreign country, raising them in a multicultural, multilingual home with very little family support. We needed an approach that worked within the reality of our everyday life.
We combined cloth diapers with disposable diapers whenever it made things easier. We followed our baby’s cues, offered regular potty opportunities, and stayed flexible when life became busy or overwhelming.
Birth to 6 Months
Before starting EC, we had already begun using cloth diapers. After my youngest was born, we stayed at a maternity clinic for four days, and he wore cloth diapers on days three and four after birth. The diapers provided during our hospital stay were from the clinic, and I thought this was a wonderful way to gently introduce cloth diapers to new parents.
Once we came home, we continued with cloth diapers as part of our daily rhythm.
(If you would like to learn more about maternity clinics in Japan, you can read my post here.)
We started EC at seven weeks old, usually offering the toilet or sink after naps and during diaper changes. At night, we mostly used disposable diapers because they held better and made nighttime easier.
Some days we caught about half of the pees and poos, while other days we missed them all. We celebrated the successes without worrying about the misses.
To be honest, I was a sleep-deprived mum, breastfeeding on demand around the clock. I simply didn’t have the mental capacity to push myself or criticize myself. I took it one day—and one moment—at a time.
By three months, most bowel movements happened in the toilet. Around five months, we were seeing more dry diapers during the day, and by six months he was often staying dry for 30 minutes to an hour. We also introduced short periods without diapers and occasionally used training pants. Waterproof mats made diaper-free time much less stressful and gave us the confidence to let him explore without worrying about the occasional accident.
Even on the days when we missed every opportunity, I noticed something changing. I was becoming more aware of my baby’s rhythms, and he seemed comfortable with the potty becoming a normal part of our everyday life.
But something else was changing too. I was learning to be kinder to myself. I had a choice: I could continue tearing myself down, becoming my own harshest critic as I had so many times before, or I could offer myself grace, forgive myself, and begin again.
This became one of the greatest lessons of my parenting journey — a lifelong lesson for a mother of three children. Progress isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about noticing, learning, reconnecting, and having the courage to begin again.
6 to 12 Months
As our son became more mobile, we experienced our first period of potty resistance. We took a step back, continued offering the potty without pressure, and accepted that this was simply part of his development.
Illness, busy family life, and caring for three children meant we weren’t always consistent—and that was okay. We took a short break from EC when my baby got ill and resumed when he was feeling well again.
By around eight to ten months, we were regularly catching the first pee after naps and many bowel movements, although there were still plenty of misses. Learning to accept resistance and trust the process became one of my biggest lessons.
To be completely honest with myself—and with you—I’m not sure I ever became particularly good at reading his cues. More often than not, I simply followed the gentle routine we had already established. I offered the toilet or potty whenever I remembered or whenever the opportunity arose.
Looking back, that was enough for us.
12 to 18 Months
This period felt like a gradual transition rather than one big milestone.
We continued offering the potty, sometimes more consistently than others. Training pants became part of our daily routine, while cloth diapers and disposable diapers still had their place, depending on the situation or what we had planned for the day.
Around thirteen months, we briefly tried EC at night again during breastfeeding sessions. Although we successfully caught some pees, it disrupted all of our sleep, so we decided to prioritize rest and returned to using cloth diapers overnight.
By around fourteen months, his cues had become much easier for me to recognize, especially for bowel movements. Potty songs and simple sign language were surprisingly helpful, and he even began communicating when he needed to go. He learned the sign for “accident” and would always use it after wetting himself, which became another small step in his growing awareness and communication.
Around sixteen months, we were catching most pees, and by seventeen months, he was staying dry for much longer. He often used the potty independently and proudly helped empty it afterwards.
What Helped Us
Some people might say that our journey wasn’t “100% EC” because we didn’t always offer the toilet when we were out, and we certainly didn’t carry a potty everywhere we went. They’re probably right. But I’m sharing our experience because I hope it encourages parents who are wondering whether there is room for a more flexible approach.
Several things made our EC journey easier:
- Keeping a relaxed, no-pressure attitude.
- Offering the potty during predictable routines, such as after naps and during diaper changes. These were the easiest opportunities to remember.
- Using cloth diapers, which made it easier to notice when they were wet.
- Using potty songs and simple sign language helped me stay patient, kept the atmosphere light, encouraged communication, and gave my toddler a reason to sit on the potty a little longer instead of rushing off to explore.
- Introducing raining pants as a gentle transition.
- Accepting that consistency looked different in different seasons of family life.
What I Learned
Perhaps the biggest lesson EC taught me had very little to do with potty training.
It gave me another opportunity to practice flexibility, respect my child’s pace rather than follow a timeline, and let go of perfection whenever life didn’t go as planned.
More than anything, EC strengthened our connection and reminded me that some of the greatest lessons in parenting come when we’re willing to learn alongside our children.
The Reality of Our EC Journey
Birth to 6 Months
- Started EC: 7 weeks old
- Where: Mostly over the toilet or sink; later introduced a potty as the weather cooled
- Routine: Offered after naps, during diaper changes, and throughout the day
- Nighttime: No EC; disposable diapers overnight
- Pee catches: Around 50% in the first few months
- Poo catches: Around 50% at first, increasing steadily
- 3 months: Pooed twice a day. Almost every poo was caught in the toilet
- 5 months:
- More dry diapers during the day. More catches than misses
- 6 months:
- Usually stayed dry 30–60 minutes
- Short periods of diaper-free time
- Occasionally wore training pants
- Waterproof mats became very useful
6 to 12 Months
- 6 to 8 months:
- First major potty resistance as mobility increased
- Many misses and occasional refusal to sit
- Continued offering the potty without pressure
- Around 8 months:
- Resistance eased and catches improved again
- Still easy to miss cues with three children at home
- Poo pattern:
- Until 7 months: 2 poos/day
- From 8 months: 1 poo/day or every other day
- 8½ months:
- Fever followed by a cold and two weeks of diarrhea
- Took a short break from EC
- First dry night: 8 months, 3 weeks
- 9 months:
- Poo caught in the toilet 1–3 times/day
- First pee after naps almost always caught
- More catches than misses overall
- 10 months:
- First morning pee and post-nap pees almost always caught
- New potty resistance during the rest of the day
- Outings were usually in disposable diapers
12 to 18 Months
- 10 to 14 months:
- In-between stage with inconsistent success
- Continued offering the potty without pressure
- Random pee and poo catches
- 13 months:
- Brief attempt at nighttime EC during feeds
- Successfully caught some night pees but stopped because it disrupted sleep
- Diaper setup:
- Mostly training pants at home
- Occasional cloth diapers
- Disposable diapers for outings and nights
- 12 to 14 months:
- Learned potty sign and several baby signs through potty songs
- A few weeks of more poo accidents
- 14 months:
- Began recognizing his “poo face”
- Could usually get him to the toilet in time for bowel movements
- Still relied mostly on routine rather than reading pee cues
- Sometimes caught the first morning pee
- Used the potty happily when listening to songs, but was often too busy to sit
- Started signing “accident” after wetting himself
- 16 months:
- Significant improvement
- Mostly caught pees
- Sometimes told me before peeing, often immediately afterward
- Poo was consistently in the potty
- Loved carrying the potty to the toilet and flushing
- 17 months:
- Stayed dry for several hours
- Used the potty independently much more often
- Only occasional late afternoon or evening misses
- Comfortable wearing cloth diapers or underwear for outings with regular potty opportunities
Would I Do It Again?
Absolutely.
If I could go back, I would probably try EC with my older boys as well and start earlier than I did. You can read more about my experiences with potty learning across all three of my children in Gentle Potty Training Tips: Lessons I Learned with My Three Kids.
The one thing I would do differently is take better care of myself during those early postpartum weeks. Holding my baby over the toilet placed more strain on my recovering body than I realized at the time. Looking back, I wish I had researched different holding positions and support options sooner. They may have helped prevent some of the lower back pain I developed when my son was about two months old.
EC may not be the right fit for every family, and that’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can start at any age, adapt it to your lifestyle, and do as much or as little as feels right for you.
For our family, it was a positive experience that helped us become more aware of our baby’s cues and reminded me, once again, that there is rarely one perfect approach to parenting—only the one that works for your child, your family, and the season of life you’re in.
Looking back, I don’t measure our EC journey by how many catches we had or how early my son became potty independent. I measure it by how much it changed the way I observed, listened to, and responded to my baby.
More than anything, it taught me that parenting is not about getting everything right — it is about staying connected, learning, and beginning again.
A Note for Parents Looking for Support
This is the heart of the work I hope to share with other parents. Through my Small Parenting groups, I offer a supportive space for parents to slow down, reflect, and discover gentle, practical ways to strengthen connection, rhythm, and understanding within their families.
Parenting can feel overwhelming at times, and we don’t have to figure everything out alone. Sometimes having the space to slow down, reflect, and see our family life from a different perspective is exactly what we need.